Be the coffee.

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Be the coffee? What does that even mean??

We stumbled upon this really great story and just had to share!

A young woman went to her grandmother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her – her husband had cheated on her and she was devastated. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as soon as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her grandmother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her granddaughter, she asked, ‘Tell me what you see.’

‘Carrots, eggs, and coffee,’ she replied.

Her grandmother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The grandmother then asked the granddaughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the grandmother asked the granddaughter to sip the coffee. The granddaughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The granddaughter then asked, ‘What does it mean, grandmother?’

Her grandmother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” she asked her granddaughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity? Do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain.. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level?

How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

So much inspo and motivation to be a fighter and stay a fighter. Don’t let bad situations change you for the worse. Instead, hold your ground and see the perspective and recognize the learning experience in each situation. Stay positive and turn the situation around. Dominate the situation. Be the coffee.

XX

J&C


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Day By Day

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One of our favorite things to remember is to take life day by day. Try to not worry about the past, that only causes depression. Try to not worry about the future, that only causes anxiety. And all of these cause stress on you and this kind of stress is a very bad thing.

If you’ve made mistakes in your past, learn from it and move on. There are so many days where we drank too much or ate what we shouldn’t have or did something we weren’t very proud of. We gave ourselves a few minutes to dwell on it and then moved on.

Worrying about the past only prevents you from being present.

Of course there are bigger life events that occur and are much harder to get over. But be smart about it. Break ups are AWFUL and we would never wish them on anyone. And deaths, those are even worse. This is when it’s really important to 1. take things day by day and 2. take care of yourself. Make sure you are sleeping, exercising and working out well. We could do a whole other post (or ten) on these topics so we won’t get too into it but just remember, give yourself time and take things day by day because it’s the only way to stay sane.

Day by day, step by step

This applies to so many different life scenarios, even happy ones! Starting a new job, new school or new workout plan? It is hard in the beginning. So much work and effort. It’s scary and exhausting. But just remember, you have a goal, and you will get there. Don’t overwhelm yourself with the end goal. Set daily goals. Every morning wake up and think about what you’re thankful for and set a goal for that day. Maybe it’s make a new friend or maybe it’s 5 minutes more on the elliptical. Small, daily goals will get you there. We promise! Just keep going.

Once you begin to lose sight and get stressed and anxious and depressed, you spiral out of control. Everything builds up and gets worse and it feels like you’ve got elephants sitting on you, preventing you from feeling better and getting through it all. Breathe. Count to 10. Imagine yourself on a beach or in the mountains. Come back to reality and write it out. Write about how you’re feeling or write about what you’re going to do to get back to normal.

We’ve been there quite a few times in our lives^^^ – even lately.

Create a plan of action, take off the crazy pants and put your smile back on. We love to create daily, weekly or monthly lists so we know when we need to get everything done by. When you plan it out, it all seems like so much less. It’s amazing. And there’s just something about physically crossing things off a list that makes you feel just wonderful.

Happy MonYAY, babes! Stay strong and stay motivated We’ve got this life thang.

XX

J&C


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Be Your Own Valentine

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Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and single or taken, it causes a lot of different emotions.

We’ve always loved Valentine’s day whether we had someone special or not. We don’t use this day to only celebrate being in a relationship, we use this day to celebrate every single person we love. We give cards and fun little gifts to our family and close friends. We bake cookies for the people we work with. We spread more love everywhere.

We also use this holiday to celebrate ourselves. We’ll eat things we normally wouldn’t eat, we will buy the more expensive champagne for ourselves and we’ll take ourselves shopping for some new cute clothes. Or sometimes we will hit the spa and splurge on a massage, facial, mani and pedi. If there’s not much money to spend, watch a marathon of your favorite movies and write a love note to yourself. Tell yourself just how damn wonderful you are.

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And even if you are in a relationship, take time to love yourself and treat yourself right. You can’t make others happy until you are happy with yourself.

LOVE YOURSELF FIRST.

There are so many people out there who put way too much pressure on this day and in turn get depressed when it hits and they have nobody special to celebrate with. Don’t be that person this year. Now is the time to change it.

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We LOVE this article posted in the Huffington Post. It gives you tips and advice on how to love yourself and be happy.

A super inspiring quote from the article:

I believe in the power of failure and in my fourth decade of life, I have finally given up guilt. I have learned to fail forward, fast and often, and I embrace change and see risk taking as a new opportunity ready to be discovered.

Look in the mirror everyday and tell yourself 3 things you love about yourself. What makes you proud to be you? Write this stuff down. Accept your flaws and learn to love the things you cannot change. Do this always.

And remember, Valentine’s Day is not just a couple’s holiday. It’s a holiday about love, so LOVE YOURSELF FIRST.

XX

J&C


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Gratitude

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What is gratitude?

Gratitude is defined as “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.”

Are you grateful? Have you thought about all you are grateful for?

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These days it seems it’s harder for people to be grateful. People have become more money driven and much more selfish. People want more more more instead of being thankful for all that they have.

Expressing gratitude in life is an amazing learning experience. It is one that takes practice but when you achieve it, it is one of the most satisfying feelings in the world. It makes your heart smile SO big and keeps your heart full and happy.

Being grateful for our lives and everyone in them has helped us become the extremely happy, positive people we are today. Neither of us have ever been rich when it comes to having money. We’ve grown up with parents who worked hard and  struggled to give us the life we’ve been given. But we were rich in everything else. We had amazing families with amazing morals. Parents who worked their tail off and taught us how far hardwork and determination can get you. They loved with everything they had. They gave us everything they could to make sure we never suffered. They taught us how to love and how to be thankful for every little thing in life. They taught us that just simply being alive on this planet is a true blessing. And because of all of that, we really are some of the richest kids you’ll ever meet.

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We’ve learned what matters in life. We don’t want the latest and greatest of everything. We want what we need and that’s enough. We want to spend our money on adventures and memories, not things.

At times it does get hard to be grateful. We go through lows and don’t quite understand why they are happening and why we are feeling that way. But we only let ourselves have a couple hours to mope around. We don’t ever let the bad take away from us living. Every second you are mad or unhappy is a second you won’t get back. If we can’t find a positive in the situation, we think about all the other positives in our life. We text a friend or a loved one and vent and have them help us get back to normal. Sometimes we cry…hard. Working out even helps! Chantelly has always turned to this to get through break-ups or stressful life events. She loves running and cycle class the best. She imagines that every stride or pedal stroke is another step further from the bad and closer to the good. She imagines leaving everything behind her and just running/pedaling forward. The harder she works, the further she gets in a shorter amount of time. It may sound silly but it has saved her in many ways.

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The mind is a powerful thing and sometimes you have to work hard to train it. So practice. Practice every single day. There is so much to be thankful for because life is beautiful.

Here is a great way to learn how to express gratitude: 9 Ways To Cultivate Gratitude. There’s a pretty cool app our there too called Unstuck. It’ supposed to send you helpful tools to get you get unstuck and help you move forward.

Another article we love: How To Start a Gratitude Practice To Change Your Life

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P.S. Our hearts are SOOO incredibly full after the amazing response we’ve received over the past month! We surpassed our goal of 500 followers and ended with 531! We’ve gotten so many love notes from some amazing supporters. Things like this keep us going. Hopefully, someday soon, we will be making a big impact on a much bigger audience thanks to you all.

♥XX

J&C


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Choosing Your Own Happiness

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Being happy is a gosh darn wonderful thing that nobody should be able to take away from you. But life is life and sometimes life and people get the best of us. It’s how you choose to deal with these lows that will determine your happiness.

We like to wake up every morning and think about all of the reasons why our life is amazing and what makes us happy. We also decide right then and there that we are going to have a great day and choose to be happy. At that point, no matter what happens, we are in the right mindset and can deal with anything that comes our way.

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Of course, there have been plenty of days where we feel completely defeated and like life isn’t fair. But we stop and remind ourselves about all of the things that are going great. We think about our health, the fact that we are lucky enough to have great jobs, our amazing friends and family who are so unbelievably supportive, our pets, etc. And it helps so much. Next time you find yourself in an unhappy place, remember all of the things you love that put a smile on your face.

Happiness MUST come from the inside. You have to be happy with yourself. Nobody else will make you happy longterm so don’t depend on them for happiness. You’ve got to learn to accept and love every flaw you have. This is something we definitely struggled with through our twenties and we only hope that you all can learn to love yourself sooner than later.

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Chantelly was always shy and insecure growing up. She was afraid to take risks and she hated how muscular her body was from playing water polo. She was so insecure about it she used to change the subject whenever people would ask her about it. She also used to do a lot of things based on the opinions of other people. But you talk to her today and she will tell you anything. She has found her happiness and she no longer cares what people think. She is comfortable in her skin and has no reason to be worried about anything else.

Jenna was a very happy girl until the last year of junior high when she began being bullied by other girls and started realizing that being “one of the guys” didn’t get your crushes to like you back. The problem with bullying, is that it never really stops. Even as an adult, people will say things to tear you down. Fortunately, in her mid to late twenties, Jenna started to realize that what other people said to her and about her did not define who she was. She is still one of the guys, but as you get older, a lot of guys start to appreciate that in a romantic way. She has also realized that boys not liking her back is sometimes a blessing.

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Because we’ve been there and figured this whole happy self thang out, here are some things we’ve learned and some tips we have:

→  Don’t depend on others to make YOU happy – This is probably one of the biggest. We’ve been there. We get in these relationships and we expect to always be happy because our significant other makes us happy…at first. After awhile, this fades. You won’t be happy in a relationship and have a happy relationship if you aren’t 100% happy with yourself first.

→ Try not to care about what others think of you – For years we did things a certain way because we were afraid of what people would say. We’ve also not done things because of what people would say. And now we are WAY over that. The ONLYYY (can’t stress that enough) reason people will talk about you and put you down is because they are unhappy with themselves. Unhappy people love to bring others down to their level. There is a great quote we found years ago that is SO on point.

“Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.”

→ Make time for yourself – After all, you create your own happiness. Do the things you love. Do things alone in your own space. Take a walk, take a warm bath, have a dance party, read a great book, or do nothing. Just make sure you have time to think and relax and be independent.

→ Do something nice for someone – This is an instant feel happy. We love to care for others and surprise them with things to make their day that much better. Try it

→ SMILE – Smile at a stranger. Say hello. Let others know that you notice them. The reaction you get back in priceless. We go through this life acting like strangers. Most people don’t even talk to their neighbors! Why? Be friends with everyone.

→ Don’t Judge – You don’t know people’s stories and struggles so never judge anyone. They are their own person trying to find their own way in life. If you find yourself judging, remember our quote ↑.

→ Choose happiness – Before you get out of bed every morning, decide that you are going to be happy and have a great day.

→ Exercise – Exercising releases endorphins and endorphins make us happy. And we LOVE happy. Plus, your body is getting toned and fit. This gives you so much confidence!

→ Accept your flaws – We all have things we would like to change about ourselves but did you know that most often the things we hate are things that others love most about us? Go figure.

→ Eat well – This is key. Put yummy whole foods into your body. Toss out the junk. Eating bad food will make you feel worse about yourself. You might be happy in that moment but the lack of nutrients and vitamins can cause unhappiness. It’s a known fact that whole foods (veggies, fruits, whole grains) prevent depression.

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There are soooooooooooo many things to to love about your life no matter what. All you have to do is see and believe.

XX
J&C


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