Be the coffee.

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Be the coffee? What does that even mean??

We stumbled upon this really great story and just had to share!

A young woman went to her grandmother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her – her husband had cheated on her and she was devastated. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as soon as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her grandmother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her granddaughter, she asked, ‘Tell me what you see.’

‘Carrots, eggs, and coffee,’ she replied.

Her grandmother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The grandmother then asked the granddaughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the grandmother asked the granddaughter to sip the coffee. The granddaughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The granddaughter then asked, ‘What does it mean, grandmother?’

Her grandmother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” she asked her granddaughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity? Do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain.. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level?

How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

So much inspo and motivation to be a fighter and stay a fighter. Don’t let bad situations change you for the worse. Instead, hold your ground and see the perspective and recognize the learning experience in each situation. Stay positive and turn the situation around. Dominate the situation. Be the coffee.

XX

J&C


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Day By Day

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One of our favorite things to remember is to take life day by day. Try to not worry about the past, that only causes depression. Try to not worry about the future, that only causes anxiety. And all of these cause stress on you and this kind of stress is a very bad thing.

If you’ve made mistakes in your past, learn from it and move on. There are so many days where we drank too much or ate what we shouldn’t have or did something we weren’t very proud of. We gave ourselves a few minutes to dwell on it and then moved on.

Worrying about the past only prevents you from being present.

Of course there are bigger life events that occur and are much harder to get over. But be smart about it. Break ups are AWFUL and we would never wish them on anyone. And deaths, those are even worse. This is when it’s really important to 1. take things day by day and 2. take care of yourself. Make sure you are sleeping, exercising and working out well. We could do a whole other post (or ten) on these topics so we won’t get too into it but just remember, give yourself time and take things day by day because it’s the only way to stay sane.

Day by day, step by step

This applies to so many different life scenarios, even happy ones! Starting a new job, new school or new workout plan? It is hard in the beginning. So much work and effort. It’s scary and exhausting. But just remember, you have a goal, and you will get there. Don’t overwhelm yourself with the end goal. Set daily goals. Every morning wake up and think about what you’re thankful for and set a goal for that day. Maybe it’s make a new friend or maybe it’s 5 minutes more on the elliptical. Small, daily goals will get you there. We promise! Just keep going.

Once you begin to lose sight and get stressed and anxious and depressed, you spiral out of control. Everything builds up and gets worse and it feels like you’ve got elephants sitting on you, preventing you from feeling better and getting through it all. Breathe. Count to 10. Imagine yourself on a beach or in the mountains. Come back to reality and write it out. Write about how you’re feeling or write about what you’re going to do to get back to normal.

We’ve been there quite a few times in our lives^^^ – even lately.

Create a plan of action, take off the crazy pants and put your smile back on. We love to create daily, weekly or monthly lists so we know when we need to get everything done by. When you plan it out, it all seems like so much less. It’s amazing. And there’s just something about physically crossing things off a list that makes you feel just wonderful.

Happy MonYAY, babes! Stay strong and stay motivated We’ve got this life thang.

XX

J&C


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Mantra Monday Takeover – Happy Birthday, Jenna!!

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Today is a very special day for a very special person!

It’s Jenna’s birthday!!

Everyone make sure you wish her a very special day because she deserves it!

Jenna is one of the most unselfish humans you will EVER meet. I mean, she ditched her NYE plans a few years ago to drive a couple of hours to save me from an awful night. And then she took me to a diner, got me some hot cocoa and totally talked me back to normal. It was one of the worst/best NYE I’ve ever had.

That’s just one of 10972893578745092873492734 things she has done for me! Imagine how many other things she has done for everyone else!

She is a total babe and one of my biggest cheerleaders.

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Everyone needs to make sure they have the best people in their life. Make sure it is someone who serves you and makes you a better person. Make sure it is someone that would do most anything for you and will always have your back. And make sure it is someone who isn’t afraid to give you constructive criticism and tell you when you’re acting like a fool.

This is Jenna.

I couldn’t be more proud to call her my bestie!

Hope you all have a beautiful Monday! & if you have someone like Jenna in your life, pick up the phone and let them know just how much they mean to you!

& HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BEAUTIFUL BESTIE!! 


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Being a bad-ass during tough times

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Happy Monday, Babes!

There is no better way to start your week than by setting your intentions and choosing to make the most of whatever gets thrown your way… because shit gets thrown your way, constantly. If you don’t have some sort of plan of action, your next best bet is to decide how you will handle these yucky situations when they do happen.

Money. Oh, money, you son of a beech. Money can hands-down cause more stress than anything else that life throws at is. Mainly because life doesn’t throw money at us. Your car breaks down, your unexpected medical bills pile up, you can’t find a job. Whatever it is, these things happen and the worst thing we can do is let the stress of money consume us. Find a side-job like babysitting or running someone’s errands. There are ways to make extra cash. Try TaskRabbit or good old fashioned Craigslist (just be careful).

Love. Or lack there-of can really affect your moods and your social life. You might avoid going places or try to go other places to hide or seek from suitors. Sometimes you don’t get the person you want. Sometimes you don’t want the person you have. The best thing you can do in these situations is follow your gut. You know if you’re happy with someone. If you’re not, move on. If you can’t be with that person, try to live your life the best way you can while you manage your sadness. The sadness will get better, it always does.

Health. This is a tough one! We tend to get so caught up with what is going on at work, our personal lives or just running errands that sometimes our health gets put on the back burner. Don’t let it. Make exercise a priority. If you want happy hour, pick one day that you will go for drinks after work and commit the other days to heading straight to the gym or to your favorite hiking trail. You can always go for dinner and drinks after. Also, pack a lunch. Bringing food will save money and keep you from making bad quick-lunch decisions. We like to follow our favorite fitness trainers and healthy meal accounts on Instagram as well. Having the visuals as you scroll social media when you’re bored might give you a little motivation. Try Tone It UP for a ton of motivation and healthy recipes.

God does think you’re a bad-ass. You are a bad-ass. Life is tough and busy and full of unexpected events. You can never fully prepare yourself but you can choose how you deal with what is thrown at you. Keep your chin up, manage your time and know that it will get better. And then it will get tough again, but you will make it through that as well.

Keep being a bad-ass and make Monday’s the start of your awesome week of being alive, not your work week.


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Be Bold – Just Do It

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Happy Monday, pretty babes!!

Hope you all had a beautiful weekend and had some time to relax and unwind with your family and friends!

It’s time to start this week off with a bang and turn the dreaded Monday into a MonYAY! Makes you a little happier and more excited about life when you’re looking at it more positively!

This week’s motto is all about grabbing life by the balls and going for it.

Have you been working your little buns off but are too afraid to ask for a raise? Orrrr have you been wanting to get back into working out again? Or eating healthy? Or….???

Make a list of everything you are wanting to do, but be realistic. Let’s start small and work our way to the larger goals. Write that shit down and see which goal you want to tackle this week!

Are you wanting to fit into a dress you wore a few years ago? How about instead of saying you want to lose 20 lbs, say you want to lose 1 lb this week and do whacha gotta do to get there! Next week say you’ll lose another.

It’s all about smart and healthy here. Choose things that are within reach until you get closer and closer to the overall picture. You’ll stay much more motivated.

Knock down those doors and bring everything you want to you! The Universe works in your favor as long as you’re positive and driven.

All of the positive you send out will come back to you. Just watch.

Enjoy this killer week, babes!

XX

J&C

 


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Mantra Monday: St. Patrick’s Day Version!

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In the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day (Obviously we LOVE it), we decided to dedicate Mantra Monday’s to Irish blessings! There are so many wonderful and uplifting blessings from the Irish heritage and it’s a great way to keep your spirits up throughout your week. Here are a few popular ones and a few of our favorites!

 

irishblessing3 irishblessing2 irishblessing1 turnoff12  Enjoy your week, Babes! However you celebrate, just be sure to be safe and have fun!

 


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Knowing Your Value

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Hello and Happy Monday, Babes!

Today we are talking about something that is SO IMPORTANT. Especially in those really unsure, scary and often defeating teenage and early twenty years.

Self-worth.

You can not put a price on your self-worth. How you look at yourself and what you choose to see everyday when you look in the mirror is so important, and we don’t just mean physically.

Everyone has a different path and timeline but at some point, we start caring about what people think of us or what we should be doing to make everyone else happy. We are going to let you in on a little secret. Nobody else really cares what you do. Unless of course, it’s something really bad and it hurts other people. What we are talking about is your day to day activities and choices. Most of the time, nobody is going to think twice about what you wore, what you said or that you tripped and fell into a pile of mud. It will be gone from their mind by day’s end. And if by some chance it takes a little longer for some people to forget about it, then they really need to get a life or confess their love for you because they think about YOU way too much.

The problem with giving so much value to what other people think is that it takes away the value of what you think of yourself. When it’s all said and done, how you feel about yourself should be more important than how other people feel about you. You will make people mad and you will hurt their feelings and you will make choices that will make other people feel rejected. It is a part of life. You cannot make everyone else happy all of the time and still stay true to who you are. That is impossible. What is possible, is to live a life that you are proud of and to demand more for yourself than what you have known thus far.

You do not have to have a drink if you don’t want to and you should not do drugs because they are stupid and pointless and only hurt people. People will pressure you and tell you that you’re lame and you don’t know how to have fun. They are wrong. We both went through phases where we drank too much. We partied hard and it got us in a lot of trouble and made us feel really bad about ourselves. We put ourselves in compromising situations and it was not a reflection of the women that we were or wanted to be. We have seen firsthand the damage and tragedy that can come of drug use and it is sad and infuriating. We still enjoy the occasional drink, but we do it responsibly, we don’t get ourselves in bad situations and we certainly don’t make fun of our friends who don’t want to partake.

You do not have to have sex to feel loved and accepted. This is so important and something that we cannot stress enough. Sex is so special and so intimate. It is not something that should be taken lightly, especially when you are young. You will never forget the first time you experience this and because of that, who you experience it with is so important. Some guys will make you feel bad for saying no or tell you that’s the only way to feel loved but that is just their penis talking. Seriously. Wait until you are married or don’t. The choice is yours, but do make sure that you only experience this with people who care about you. People lie and will say anything to get your clothes off. They could very well be out the door a minute later and leave you feeling ashamed and unwanted or even worse, with an STD. We know that sounds harsh, but it’s true and you are worth more than that.

You do not have to put others down to build yourself up. Some people get a kick out of putting other people down. They make fun of them or talk behind their backs. That kind of drama is immature and just plain dumb. As you get older, you start to realize (hopefully) that being mean just makes you mean, not cool. And if someone is that negative and rude in front of you, they are probably doing the same thing when you aren’t around. We like nice people and we know that from very personal experiences.

This post is long, but what we are really trying to say is, stop trying to be cool and just start being you. There are so many people that will love and accept exactly who you are. You do not need to act or look a certain way to get people to like you. You do not need to compromise yourself for acceptance. You are beautiful and worthy of so much and you should never let anyone make you feel inferior. We all have different strengths, weaknesses, advantages and flaws. They make us who we are but do not make us better or worse than anyone else.

Love yourself.

Know your value.

Know your worth.

xx

J&C


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Mantra Monday: The Company You Keep

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Hello & Happy Monday, Babes!

We have discussed before and are bringing up again how important it is to surround yourself with wonderful people. The company you keep is so important because attitudes and outlooks on life tend to rub off on others…especially the people you spend the majority of your time with.

There is something to be said for rising above the negativity and pessimism, but when you are constantly surrounded by it, it can be hard to beat!

Often times in our lives, we don’t have control over the people that surround us. We can choose our jobs, but not our coworkers. We can choose our friends, but not their friends. We can even choose our romantic partners, but not their friends either (or their family)!

There comes a point in your life where you have to let go of everyone else’s attitudes and opinions. There will always be negative, hurtful and cynical people surrounding you, but the choice to think differently is up to you…and it is a choice!

Remember when you were younger and adults would always say “Think before you speak”. Well, it’s true. We can not always control the thoughts that we have, but we can control whether or not we share those thoughts with the world. We are all guilty of it. We say something mean for no reason or we choose to be negative instead of looking for the good in something. It’s human nature, but we must fight it.

People want to be around other happy people. Negativity is exhausting. Nobody needs the drama, the complaints or the constant nagging. Just think before you speak. Choose to search for the good when everything seems bad. Force yourself to smile until it becomes real. When you exude that sort of light, you will attract it as well.

Go into your Monday and your week with a healthy and happy mind!

XX

J&C


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7 Cardinal Rules For Life

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→ 1. Make peace with your past so it won’t disturb your present.

Everyone has baggage. That’s a fact. But don’t let what happened to you in your past, change the way you see the present and the future. Make sure you deal with what has happened and really give yourself time to figure it out. You want to be the best you that you possibly can. You want to be your happiest you. If you aren’t complete yourself, you’ll never be able to be complete with a partner.

→ 2. What other people think of you is none of your business.

If you think hard about this one…it really isn’t your business. Yes, it hurts and it stings and it makes you feel awful when you hear that people are talking about you but if they have the balls to talk bad about someone, why would you care one smidge about them?! Really, though. Surround yourself with people that won’t talk about you and don’t care about the people that do. Most of the time people talk about you because they are jealous. You are doing things they can’t or you have things they want but don’t have. We’ve experienced a ton of this growing up – especially from girls. But we always chose not to care because why would we let a jealous, incomplete person bring us down? They can work on themselves why we work on ourselves and neither of us needs to care about the other.

→ 3. Time heals almost everything. Give it time.

Can’t stress this one enough. There are so many things that cannot be healed with anything but time. We’ve moved halfway across the country for guys or were given promise rings and spent so many years with someone just to be let down in the end. Break-ups are no joke and you never wish that kind of pain on ANYONE. Nobody deserves to hurt so bad that it feels like your heart is actually cracking into pieces inside your body. Take that time to remember the good times and focus on things about yourself you’d like to change or do differently. Don’t go out every night and get drunk and meet a bunch of new guys to date because that only suppresses the hurt and it will eventually come out later. And when that happens, it takes that much longer to start the healing process. Let yourself have that time.

And the same goes for losing anyone at all. It seems that only time can heal the pain. Let yourself have that time.

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→ 4. No one is in charge of your happiness. Except you.

WORD. Ever noticed how you can be in a room of happy people and still not be happy because of something going on in your life? That’s because YOU control YOUR emotions. Nobody else does. Make sure you’re happy with yourself and love yourself. You’re the most important here. Once you are there, you will be a person that everyone wants to be around. People love happy people because they make them feel better about themselves. Be that happy person everyone loves.

→ 5. Don’t compare your life to others and don’t judge them, you have no idea what their journey is all about.

When you start to compare, you start to think about what you don’t have and this is where jealousy starts to take it’s toll. We aren’t perfect humans and we all get jealous at times but if you remember to stop the comparing, you’ll be a much happier person. It doesn’t matter what you have or don’ have, what only matters is the person you are. Be a good person and don’t judge. If someone looks unhappy or is being mean, understand that they might be going through something. Be nice to them anyway. Our mothers always told us, “kill them with kindness.” We like to live by that.

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→ 6. Stop thinking too much. It’s all right not to know the answers. They will come to you when you least expect it.

Some things you just won’t find the answers to. Stop thinking too hard about it and let it be. We get that it can be hard to get past something but you’ll never get the answer you are looking for and instead will waste too much precious time thinking about it and searching for it. Just let. it. be.

→ 7. Smile. You don’t own all the problems in the world.

This is a great one to remember. No matter how bad you think a situation is, there is always someone in a worse situation. Smile about all that you do have. Find the positives in every situation and let those make you laugh or help you smile. Plus, did you know that making yourself smile will actually put you in a better mood. Try smiling at a stranger – their response will make you feel better:)

J&C


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Giving up what you know for what you want

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Happy Monday, Babes!

We want to help you start your week off right by talking about creating the life you want. Throughout life, we are faced with all sorts of decisions and some of those decisions seem impossible. Sometimes you have to sacrifice things in your life that have become comfortable in order to make a better life for yourself.

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We can get stuck in jobs, friendships, living situations and relationships because of fear of the unknown or hurting people. Change can be paralyzing and resistance to change can hinder growth in your life. The hardest part, is that sometimes we can’t see just how toxic our situations are until we get out of them.

Part of getting stuck in a situation could be that we feel we don’t deserve better or that we won’t do well when we are thrown into the unknown. Sometimes we stay at a job that is not helping us build a future for ourselves because we are afraid we won’t get hired, we are afraid of the responsibility or we simply just don’t think about it since the bills are getting paid.

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We tend to keep people in our lives simply because they have been there for so long. As you get older and experience more, you realize what kinds of people you want to surround yourself with. You want to be around like-minded people that bring good into your life, not people who are toxic and disrespect you and your friendship. At some point, not having plans on Friday night becomes okay because it is better than surrounding yourself with negativity and people that do not care about your best interest. You really do become the people you spend your time with, so make sure they are good people!

 

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Romantic relationships seem to be the hardest to let go of. Whether you have a family or you are still in your first year together, “breaking up” really is hard to do. Sometimes things just aren’t right. You aren’t happy but you aren’t miserable. You just don’t seem to be getting what you need from your relationship. You deserve to get what you need. Sometimes your partner is like the toxic friendships. They aren’t hurting you but they are not helping you grow. Their negativity and outlook on life can begin to affect you and you will end up spending time either resenting them or trying to fix them. Very unhealthy! Then there are the relationships that actually hurt you. NOBODY deserves to be abused, physically or mentally. That is not how you love someone.

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We fear the unknown because, well, it’s unknown. We don’t know what to expect. We don’t know if it will be better. We don’t know if we will love someone the same again. We don’t know if we will make new friends. We don’t know if we will succeed. Newsflash: WE WILL. We all make mistakes, we all make decisions and we all make sacrifices, but it gets better. That’s the great thing about life, it’s difficult and painful but it’s also beautiful and amazing. Why not surround yourself with people and circumstances that will better you and make life a little less painful and a lot more beautiful? Have faith and take chances because the risk is definitely worth the reward.

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Surround yourself with amazing people…who will give you piggy back rides!

Here’s to good decisions, even if they are hard to make!

XX

J&C


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